


High Stakes

by ImpartialGorgon



Series: Getting Closer [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 16:38:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14169081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImpartialGorgon/pseuds/ImpartialGorgon
Summary: Hawke returns to Kirkwall and demands some honesty.





	High Stakes

**Author's Note:**

> This follows my first fic, The Times We Were Together, but doesn’t necessarily need it to make sense.

She had pushed her way past Bran, his protests, and perhaps a velvet rope or two; those wouldn’t really have stopped her entering the Viscount’s office. She wasn’t exactly expected, but she knew with a bone-deep understanding she was always welcome.

“Sweet Maker’s balls, Hawke! Are those silverite daggers!? Did you actually steal from the wardens!?”

“Such accusations without even a greeting? And I’ll have you know these were gifts as a sign of their appreciation.“

“Uh huh. And do the wardens know they ‘appreciated’ you?”

“If they don’t know they’re gone yet, they’ll never know.”

She pulled them both out, handed one to Varric and admired one herself.

“This one is Fereldan meat pie and that one is spicy tart,” she said with a lopsided grin.

“You named them after food?”

“One is named after food, the other is a prostitute I once knew. I’m going to let you guess which is which.”

“That’s either the best thing I’ve ever heard, or the worst. I haven’t decided yet,” he commented while turning the weapon over in his hands. Finally, someone who could fully appreciate her new trophies.

“I thought you’d enjoy that. I mean, I named them after things I enjoyed a long, long time ago.” Hawke narrowed her eyes, her grin spread from ear to ear. “Things I’ve pined for.”

“I hear that’s the trend these days,” he said coyly, by all accounts studying the blade with much concentration. “You know, I’ve had a Fereldan meat pie. It wasn’t that good.”

“That’s the one named after a prostitute,” she said with a wink.

“Have you been home yet?”

“Kirkwall is my home!” She laughed, throwing her arms wide.

He shook his head, “Of course it is. Meet me at The Hanged Man later. I won’t have to lie to cancel an evening meeting for a change.”

“Will you wear your pointy crown for me?”

“That’s not something I’d do even for the legendary Hawke, but I’ll let you wear it yourself.”

She bent over to look him in the eye, and her neckline seemed to dip into eternity. A gold chain dropped from her loose blouse to hang free from her neck, a ring weighing it into a v-shape. She held out her hand, palm up towards him.

“Spicy tart?”

* * *

“You kept your room? Are you not living at the keep now?”

“You know me well enough to know I’m a sentimental fool. I also like having a place to hide from the responsibilities.”

“Is it hiding if everyone knows you’re here?”

“Maybe not, but nobles and politicians have to walk through the filthiest dive in all of Kirkwall if they want to catch me in my off-hours. It’s a beautiful sight that never gets old”

Hawke laughed at the mental image as Varric pulled out his cards. “You up for a game?”

“I thought it was understood,” she replied with a casual tone. “But...” Hawke reached across the table and grabbed the deck from his hand. “...My rules tonight.”

“You’re afraid I’ll cheat?”

“Now why would I start worrying about that after all these years? No, tonight we don’t bet coin or favors. Tonight I want the rarest jewel from you, Master Tethras. I want the truth.”

“Champion, there’s no need to play for that, I’ll happily tell you anything you want to know,” his face and tone such a perfect imitation of innocence she almost believed him.

“You bastard, you’re lying now!” She laughed. “No, I wager my truth against yours. Unless you’re just afraid you’ll lose...”

“Appealing to my pride, are you? How do you know I won’t just lie anyway? I am a very good storyteller.”

“You’ve been shoveling bullshit for so long I can recognize the smell.” Leaning in, she stared him straight in the eyes, “I’ll know.”

* * *

“If you’re going to put such a high wager you should really play better. That was pathetic.” Varric shook his head and basked in the first win of the evening.

“I’m building up your confidence so my win is much more satisfying.” Her tone was less casual than her words suggested. “I am a woman of honor, ask your question!”

“A woman of honor wouldn’t have used decoy while fighting the Arishok.” He took a long drink while thinking, then asked with a gentle tone, “Do you still think you should have been left behind?”

Hawke wasn’t expecting this. What happened to the days of playing “guess the color of my small clothes?” She concentrated on the ale between her hands and frowned.

“I... didn’t want to die, but it made more sense.”

She didn’t continue for several minutes, but he didn’t fill the silence for a change.

“Weisshaupt was a mess. It was chaos. The Wardens lost an important man at very bad time. They needed him. But me? I’m done. There’s nothing left for me.”

Fear reached his eyes. “Are you kidding? Sure the Wardens need help rebuilding, but Kirkwall needs rebuilding too! If we leave things the way they are we might as well light the city on fire. Again.” His face was a mixture on concern and determination. “Kirkwall needs its Champion. You’re an inspiration, Hawke! You encourage the people to keep fighting.”

Hawke was thoughtful as she finished her drink. She shook her head then began to shuffle the cards again.

“Shall we try again? I was warming up with that last hand.”

* * *

“If I find out how you cheated I’ll-“

“You’ll what? I won that round through skill alone.”

They sat in silence for several minutes while Varric thought deeply. He wasn’t normally one for this kind of directness, but this was a chance he couldn’t pass up. Hawke was almost as good at shoveling lies as he.

“Are you ok with what happened with Anders?”

“I do tend to play high stakes, don’t I?” Hawke pinched the bridge of her nose and grimaced. “He was a good man. He helped a lot of people.”

“So that’s a no?”

Suddenly feeling cold, she pulled her arms in and folded them. She started to speak twice before the words could finally come out.

“I betrayed and murdered a man who became family, Varric. Does this means I could do it again? Could I betray you too?”

“I was there. He was a good person,” he began. “He was also a bad person. Maybe the problem is trying to put a single label on him. You can’t paint all this in black and white. It’s complicated and messy and there was no one way to fix things completely. You say you betrayed him, but don’t forget that he betrayed you too. He betrayed your trust and made you an accomplice to killing every person in the chantry that night. He made a choice, and the whole world is living the repercussions. I can’t say whether your choice was right or wrong, but I understand why you did it. I might have made that same choice if it were up to me.”

He stood from the table and made his way over to refill their drinks. By the time he had returned she was once again composed, and shuffling the deck.

“I need a win tonight, another round?”

“Sounds good.”

* * *

Hawke was much quieter now. Another defeat, another truth.

“Did you really never start anything with Anders?”

She was studying the wall across from her intently, and eventually shook her head.

“You’re kidding! He was so clearly in love with you. What about Fenris?”

“No. No dalliances with Sebastian or Merril either.”

“What about Isabella? She’s thrown herself at you so many times.”

“No.”

“Why?”

She drained the last of her cup, grabbed his and finished that too. “You’ve run out of questions. Good night Varric.”

With that she made her way home.

* * *

Hawke had been home from The Hanged Man for almost two hours, emotionally raw. It was only her exhaustion preventing her from walking the alleys of Darktown looking for a fight. It was fair he had asked his questions, but the subjects were sensitive ones. If she were braver she could have simply told him how she felt without having to bandy about with games.

She had locked herself in her room to brood by the fire. Physically locking the door was more symbolic, as Sandal and Bodhan were long gone, and Orana’s letter explained that she wouldn’t be able to return to work at the Amell estate for another two months at least.

The loud knocking at the front door jerked her out of her tipsy, melancholic stupor. She purposefully decided to ignore it; there was a very short list of people it could be, and Hawke wasn’t in a mood to entertain any of them.

The racket eventually stopped, but she could only enjoy moments of silence before she recognized Varric’s voice coming from the direction of her foyer.

“Hawke? If you’re going to pretend you’re not home don’t use your fireplace. The smoke gives it away every time.”

There was a knock at her bedroom door.

She didn’t bother answering.

He spoke loudly at the door instead.

“I regret bringing you to Skyhold, ok? I have a real knack for getting you into bad situations. I couldn’t have lived with myself if you died. Dammit Hawke, you were so ready to stay behind! Do you know how terrified I was?

“I regret not killing Bartrand. He asked me to, and I didn’t. He’s alive, but what a state. What would a good brother do in this situation? Hell if I know.

“Hawke, I...” There was no sound for several minutes. Was he done? Had he left? She moved to the door to hear better. “I learned something about myself: I’m ok without Her, but I’m not so good without you.

“I Missed you,” He said with a heavy sigh. “I missed you, Marian.”

The latch sounded, and the door opened slowly. The light at her back obscured her face. She lifted her hands to his cheeks, leaned down, and kissed him on his lips. Slowly, gently. Once separated, she pulled him into the room.

“You asked me why.”

“I did.”

She kissed him again. “I just didn’t want anyone else.”


End file.
